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stuff movies taught me

#21 User is offline   BillMillion 

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Posted 22 September 2004 - 08:08 AM

Any Soldier on duty who talks about looking forward to seeing his 'sweetheart back home' will be killed within 2hrs of making the comment.

#22 User is offline   Zizy 

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Posted 22 September 2004 - 08:08 AM

QUOTE (BillMillion @ Sep 22 2004, 09:07)
Any Soldier on duty who talks about looking forward to seeing his 'sweetheart back home' will be killed within 2hrs of making the comment.

Ditto any cop due to retire next week

#23 User is offline   AceClown 

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Posted 22 September 2004 - 08:17 AM

QUOTE (Zizy @ Sep 22 2004, 09:08)
QUOTE (BillMillion @ Sep 22 2004, 09:07)
Any Soldier on duty who talks about looking forward to seeing his 'sweetheart back home' will be killed within 2hrs of making the comment.

Ditto any cop due to retire next week

Ditto any prisoner with a good chance of parole anytime soon

#24 User is offline   Smurfette 

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Posted 22 September 2004 - 08:24 AM

People NEVER shut their doors. Especially if they are in a frantic passionate kiss!

And when the phone rings, and they let the machine get it, it's NEVER a telemarketer.

If there is something horribly wrong, and you need to alert the person to get out of the house or run for their lives, they never pick up the phone. It's always dead, or there is a storm messing with the phone lines.

In Police films, the captain is always some angry vicious man with his tie loosened and sweating from here to there and drinking pepto bismol straight from his coffee mug or the bottle.

Every phone number starts with 555 blah blah

Everyone comes back to life if you scream somebody help me!!!! and you cry hopelessy while holding their head in your lap and begging them not to leave you.

If you DO find your lightswitch, and it doesn't work.. someone is in your home and you are probably going to die!

Sex is always so passionate and tender, never fumbling and or hardcore (depending on the film you are watching wink2.gif )

#25 User is offline   Zizy 

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Posted 22 September 2004 - 08:30 AM

Once you have run for your life, battled with an axe wielding maniac and seen the most horrendous things, you will be scared by a common house cat.

#26 User is offline   Snomi 

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Posted 22 September 2004 - 08:44 AM

bunch of observative people ohmy.gif


well done laugh.gif

#27 User is offline   AceClown 

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Posted 22 September 2004 - 08:45 AM

Contrary to what history teaches us ninjas are fucking useless and 40 of them can't even take down the sidekick. (Unless said sidekick has expressed an interest in seeing his loved one and/or retiring)

A bomb timer will always stop on a number lower than 10 but more than 0, if the bomb does stop at any number above 10 you can be sure that the timer will start up again at some point in the future.

This post has been edited by AceClown: 22 September 2004 - 08:52 AM


#28 User is offline   Gl@eken 

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Posted 22 September 2004 - 08:56 AM

A a site for the scientific evalution of dumb stuff that happens in movies.

http://www.intuitor.com/moviephysics/

I partciulary like the below example smile.gif

The Mac 10 Problem
Although 9 mm submachine guns such as the Uzi (which fires 600 rounds per minute) are popular in movies, everyone knows that real action heroes prefer .45 cal Mac 10's. These fire bigger bullets at rates of 1000 rounds (in other words bullets) per minute. They have a thirty-round magazine (the long black thing that stores the bullets) and are by any measure a deadly weapon.

Movies are filled with scenes of good guys and bad guys blazing away for minutes at a time. Of course, no one is overly concerned with reloading or lack of ammunition, but then that's been true since the days of singing cowboys such as Roy Rogers who smiled a lot and engaged in friendly gunplay between musical numbers. So why would we bother to mention what is common knowledge? We can't help but be impressed by the weight of the matter.

First, let us point out that the thirty-round magazine in a Mac 10 will be expended in a mere 1.8 seconds of sustained fire! If our shooter blazes away steadily for a total of only 3 minutes, his or her Mac 10 will spit out around 3000 chunks of lead at roughly 15 grams a piece. This amounts to 45 kilograms or a little less than 100 pounds of lead. And that doesn't account for the weight of the 3000 cartridge cases or 100 empty magazines scattered on the ground.

Second, bullets are, after all, propelled by some very hot gasses which exert high pressures that create high stresses in gun parts. A firearm can withstand the high pressures and stresses only if the blasts of high temperature gasses don't happen too many times before the firearm has time to cool off. Running 3000 of these temperature cycles back-to-back would turn a light weight submachine gun, like a Mac 10, into a red hot piece of scrap metal, that is, if it even lasted for 3000 rounds.

Yes, 9 mm submachine guns with slower firing rates would reduce weight problems, but it seems that real action heroes use Mac 10s, preferably one in each hand. We can't help asking where the sidekicks are with wheelbarrows to carry the ammo, let alone the cooling systems.



#29 User is offline   Dev 

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Posted 22 September 2004 - 09:00 AM

  • "Lets split up" is ALWAYS a bad idea.
  • blood curdling screams make more people curious than afraid
  • inbred mountain men do not descriminate between genders
  • No matter how fast you run one man walking with a knife will catch you.
  • Hairspray and a lighter makes an excellent flamethrower
  • the walking undead move quicker when they're "fresh" ( this could save your life btw)
  • In a disaster the military is as likely to look out for themselves as help you
  • Starships don't need toilets... or showers


#30 User is offline   AceClown 

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Posted 22 September 2004 - 09:17 AM

The household pet will always survive a disaster of any kind, usualy at great risk to small children.

If your ever chasing a baddy through busy streets be aware that a small child will run out into the path of the biggest 18 wheeler you have ever seen. Also applies to trainyards and big diesel engines.

This post has been edited by AceClown: 22 September 2004 - 09:20 AM


#31 User is offline   Mortis 

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Posted 22 September 2004 - 10:07 AM

  • Computer screens are so bright that you can read the text on the face of the user
  • Any data file can be read/ decrypted and copied just by double clicking on it
  • No two computers ever have the same operating system but can always link to each other
  • MACs are always the most common PC on earth
  • Laptop batteries never run out
  • Virtual Reality systems always have high definition high resolution graphics (after some pixelation when you first log on) and will run on any system perfectly
  • Searching the web will always return what you are looking for in no more than 5 clicks no matter how obscure
  • When you dial 911 or 999 you are always put on hold
  • You can jump into any car on the street and drive it away without adjusting the seat and mirrors
  • No cars are ever fitted with immobilisers
  • Firing a machine gun at a car will always take out the back window, wing mirror and headlight in that order
  • TV's always turn on automatically when you put a tape in the VCR
  • Blenders are liable to turn themselves on if you accidentally touch them when trying to sneak
  • All electrical appliances in the home can be controlled by a computer through the mains
  • 120V mains electricity is capable of creating a dancing spark 3 feet long that lasts for minutes
  • Mobile phones work anywhere - unless you are being chased by a bad guy in which case you can never get a signal

This post has been edited by Mortis: 22 September 2004 - 10:08 AM


#32 User is offline   .pk 

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Posted 22 September 2004 - 10:13 AM

I cant believe you forgot about these:

- Any vehicle, irrespective of it characteristics, will catch up on a running person at a rate of about 100 metres per minute.
- If trying to outrun a car, train or other vehicle (by legging it), your instinct will be to follow the road/track you are on straight ahead avoiding making turns at all costs.



#33 User is offline   Dev 

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Posted 22 September 2004 - 11:30 AM

QUOTE (Snomi @ Sep 22 2004, 08:43)
observative people ohmy.gif

Paging Sticky, cleanup in aisle 4...

This post has been edited by Devilman: 22 September 2004 - 12:31 PM


#34 User is offline   Earthy 

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Posted 22 September 2004 - 11:44 AM

If your a bad guy with a big mansion, surrounded by well trained guards armed with a varying degree of weapons who are in constant communication and radio checks.

and you have at a costs of tens of thousands installed the latest state of the art surveliance and security systems, which include motion, sound, heat, electric detectors as well as camera night vision, infer red, options.

Its all pontless


because the hero just has to jump over the wall and with a brisk walk will have bypassed all security or his mate has just hacked in and taken your security system down without you noticing.





#35 User is offline   Earthy 

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Posted 22 September 2004 - 11:45 AM

no matter what security system a company runs, if a hacker breaks in he will allways get stunning 3 d visuals which look like new york at night and not some boring text on his screen.


#36 User is offline   BillMillion 

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Posted 22 September 2004 - 12:00 PM

QUOTE (Devilman @ Sep 22 2004, 12:30)
QUOTE (Snomi @ Sep 22 2004, 08:43)
observative people ohmy.gif

Paging Sticky, cleanup in aisle 4...

Its fortunate you didn't spell that "isle" otherwise you'd have looked really dumb. Oh and by the way you're a cracking chap.

This post has been edited by Devilman: 22 September 2004 - 12:34 PM


#37 User is offline   Dev 

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Posted 22 September 2004 - 12:34 PM

Aw, cheers Bill!.



whistling.gif

#38 User is offline   BillMillion 

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Posted 22 September 2004 - 12:36 PM

erm...but.....eh.....THATS NOT RIGHT!!! ranting.gif

happy.gif

#39 User is offline   Zizy 

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Posted 22 September 2004 - 12:36 PM

Heh, I saw it!

#40 User is offline   BillMillion 

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Posted 22 September 2004 - 12:40 PM

Lighting - Lights are not needed at night, as its always a full moon with a cloudless sky bathing every room in a house with a lovely blue hue. On the off chance that it is actually dark then there is a knifeman in the house who is going to kill you.

Computers - When Admins spell things wrong they invariably try to cover it up with TEH EDIT!

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