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Jokes

#1 User is offline   King Phil 

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Posted 06 March 2013 - 08:57 PM

I've seen many a joke on this forum - we used to have a Friday Joke every week. Anyone got any good ones?

#2 User is offline   DrWu 

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Posted 06 March 2013 - 10:13 PM

The Dalai Lama walks into a pizza shop and asks “Can you make me one with everything?”

#3 User is offline   Dev 

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Posted 06 March 2013 - 10:24 PM

A girl walks into a bar and asks for a double entendre, so the barman gives her one.

#4 User is offline   Zara 

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Posted 07 March 2013 - 10:49 AM

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a pub. The barman says, "Is this some sort of joke?"

#5 User is offline   Sticky 

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Posted 07 March 2013 - 01:30 PM

This fella is on safari in Kenya when he finds an elephant lying on the ground, moaning, obviously in distress.
He gets closer and sees there's a thorn in its foot.
He bravely removes it, and the elephant trots off happy.
Twenty years later, the man is standing in the street in London watching a circus procession go past.
When the elephant gets level with him, it stops, looks straight at him, reaches out with its trunk, lifts him up into the air, smashes him on the ground and jumps on him repeatedly.
It was a different elephant.

#6 User is offline   Jonno 

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Posted 07 March 2013 - 04:47 PM

A guy drives in to the back of another car.
A dwarf gets out and runs to the guys window. He says 'I'm not happy'

#7 User is offline   Jackfrost 

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Posted 07 March 2013 - 10:58 PM

Why did the Monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it was Dead!


Whats the opposite of Christopher Reeve?

Christopher Walken


What's worse than locking your keys in your car in front of an abortion clinic?

Going back in to ask for a coat hanger.



Why is the Catholic Church against the use of birth control?

The condoms kept getting stuck in the choir boys braces.

#8 User is offline   DrWu 

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Posted 08 March 2013 - 08:25 PM

Ha!

Sheffield was a bit disappointing.

I was expecting a huge outdoor barbecue.

#9 User is offline   King Phil 

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Posted 29 March 2013 - 12:23 AM

m0ar plx

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